Currently Listening Beautiful Lie The Kill see related

I Know Now This Is Who I Really Am Inside..

So...went to the military ball last night. Fun? Yes...yes it was.

Okay so Kevin was there and I found out he has a girlfriend and now we're not FWBs anymore..but hey I had a good time anyways and that happened all in the beginning! He wouldn't dance with me either..what an asshole.

I did dance with two Sams and my friend Stephen even did somethin really sweet for me. He's so tall and..I had to reach up and everything..and I think Casey said somethin and he got on his knees and danced with me. The even funnier part was the fact that even on his knees I was only like maybe 3 inches taller. =] but I'm still happy he did that. and It was mostly me Alyssa and John the whole night which I don't mind because they're like my bestest friends ever.

Speaking of which I was mad because Sgt. Moye wouldn't play anymore slow songs (or rock for that matter) just because not many people were out there. So he played rap the rest of the time. Which made me, Stephen, Alyssa, John, Sarah, and Jacob improvise and dance even though we could hear stupid rap music in the background.

yay we made our own slow song and it was nice. =]

I'm so happy..until somethin screws it up then I'm pissed lol j/k keep the happiness coming!!!!!!!!!

i never wanted to hear all the things that you told me...

I figure that I don't want him to see this..and I know he doesn't know about my xanga site so it works.

-_- I can't tell this guy how I feel and I want to..but he won't wanna be friends with benefits anymore. Stupid that I'm actually kinda sad about it..but...he seems so excited about it and I am too. and its even more sad that we haven't even done anything together. I'm gonna try today..hopefully it'll work out. *crosses fingers*

I'm actually kinda worried that I might be annoying him. I keep trying to at least say hi and then his status goes away..but then again yesterday he was kinda busy with church and everything. I don't think I'm gonna tell him about my religion either...that might just like push it over. If someone's really into it then they won't want to like..associate with someone like me.

Sounds like paganism is a race or species but..I dunno that's how it feels sometimes. People here are very much so close minded. It's sad to say but they're very ignorant. Can't help that I guess. Like...my friends aren't but my co-workers are. They ask me stupid questions and I should tell them to go to hell but heh I don't believe in that and then that'd start a whole new set of questions. They're idiots and most of the time. I don't like them. I just do my work and go home now. I barely talk to them. Yesterday at work was hell. Chris was being an ass as usual and I basically had to beg him to do his fucking job. I had orders that needed making and where was he...he was off in la la land with his buddies up front in the dining room.

okay...I'm gonna calm down now. but..yeah he's a jackass. ^_^ I'm happier now. I'm listening to Saosin if anyone reads this they're awesome go buy their cd.

well guys my mom's tellin me to get off ttyl!

Krisi

p.s. my layout looks awesome...kudos to the dreamstar girl who does these.

My Love Is Like The Wind You Can't See It But You Can Feel It..

So it's been awhile right?

Lots of things have happened. I live in North Carolina now...but I find it nicer than I did Missouri although in Missouri my good friends still stay. I'm not dating anyone at the moment..but...I do have a friend with benefits thing going on. Nothing's happened yet but he even said he was excited over it. Makes me wonder if he likes me...but I'm pretty sure he doesn't. and I'm not going let myself like him more than a friend just so this'll work. but that's all for this update.

catch you guys on the flipside

Currently Listening A Fever You Can't Sweat Out By Panic! At The Disco Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off see related

"I've Seen Love Die Way Too Many Times When It Deserved To Be Alive.."

So here I am again..writing another sob story for someone to read. fuck it I doubt anyone will. brian left me awhile back and..it still hurts and..I dont know if I even want to cry about him anymore. He shattered my heart (not just broke shattered...) by saying he'd eventually not love me. but fine..i guess distance does that to people.

So here I am and heres the reasons I think I should give up on relationships:

1. Nobody can handle me- as in they think i'm overdramatic and constantly catch me on it in horrible ways ("krisi you always overreact and I can't handle that in my life"-Brian)
2. They fail. - short, sweet, to the point.
3. I dont want to wait for them- things take time sure ok I got it. but still..it'd be nice to hear that someone thinks about me before they fall asleep at night.
4. sick of feeling alone and I'm just accepting its gonna stay that way.

I keep making a fool of myself because I end up liking someone way too quickly. rebound? most likely...ok thats #5 then.

so everyone who thought my life in NC was drama-free...here's why its not and why it is:

• People can't even tell me when I insult them (and this is when I'm just being myself, making jokes.)
• I like people...no one ever said I was gonna fall. (as if I even could with the way people are around here.)
• Jordan thinks my life revolves around him. (ha ha Jordan thats a funny one. me? think that? yeah right. get over  yourself. I like you thats it. and I wanted someone to spend time with. I guess my boobs just aren't big enough for you to do that one little thing. I'm not gonna throw myself at you..you're just not worth it anymore..especially after saying all that shit about me behind my back.)
• Kim's like the buffer of it all. she's been the most helpful in giving me a chance to start out my life here.
• Nik's the same too. He gives me hugs. I like hugs. Hugs remind me of Missouri where lotsa guys hugged me. It makes me feel special. (although..Jordan gives me hugs too and I expected side hugs but...nope I dunno maybe he's not so bad after all.)

well thats the "rant" I guess. I might put this on myspace after adjusting it a bit for people that "might" read it. the end.

Kuraichi a.k.a. Krisi

" And Then He Swears He Loves You"